Monstrous bike is monstrous

I hopped on the Monster this morning for the first time in many months. Whoa, this was weird, awkward and uncomfortable. How on Earth did I spend so much time on this thing? My arms hurt from trying to find a position on the handlebars, I was riding in a strange elbows-down stance and it hurt my bad shoulder and was straining my biceps. The steering was graceless and the speed was lumbering. The tight back muscles that a ride with Ruby had erased yesterday were returning from trying to ride on this cumbersome machine. I turned the ship around after a mile of discomfort, parked her in the warehouse and wondered if I would ever sit on her again.
Hmmm, is a new bike in my future?

The indignity of Freds seeing me on this bike:

Over the winter, I'd become 'nod/smile/hello/morning friendly' with two commuter Freds that I would see almost every morning. I had affectionately named them Beard-Fred commuter and Braid-Fred commuter. I suppose the fellowship of harsh weather riding garnered a greeting to one-another. I was returning with the Monster and saw Beard Fred coming towards me. Oh, God! I was suddenly embarrassed to be seen riding the Monster and was thankful the turn into our parking lot would prevent Beard Fred from seeing me with the Monster.

I no longer heart riding you, Monster.